Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Border is now out of bounds.

Sign That I'm Getting Old #52: Taco Bell gives me nausea.

Holy god, when did this come about? When did my brain, stomach and the rest of my internal organs form a union and unilaterally decide that they just couldn't handle one more cheesy bean and rice burrito?

In college, I practically used to live off of the stuff. My fondest memories involve my friends and I making drunken late night runs at 3 AM, grabbing a heaping bag of burritos and cheesy gordita crunches, going back to whomever's place and watching DVDs/Stephen Colbert reruns until we passed out. And one time, my friend Andy and I bought a 10-pack of bean burritos during the intermission of a huge poker tournament we were having and promptly downed the whole thing. Plus, let's not forget all those times I would hit up TB, then go to my college girlfriend's place to watch two hours worth of What Not to Wear (yes, I'm a fan). Magical.

And today? I bought two items off the menu today for lunch, and about halfway through the second, my stomach said "Sorry sir, we're at capacity," like a bouncer at a fancy Adams Morgan nightclub.

"What do you mean you're at capacity?" the burrito would say. "There's tons of room in there! And you just that entire Nutri-Grain bar in like it's no big deal!"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step back. Thanks."

Gotta keep the ratio in check, I guess. Racist pricks.

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Hello? Is this thing on?

Testing, testing. *tap tap tap*

Seriously though -- does anybody still pay attention to this blog'o'mine? Am I part of your RSS feed or maybe one of those bookmarks you check every so often to see if Jeff poked his head out of his tiny blogger hole? Well, if so, gimme a holler or something. I might just blow the dust off this thing and give it another try.

Jeff's Blog: Like an old Nintendo game, but only 68% as cool.