The Border is now out of bounds.
Sign That I'm Getting Old #52: Taco Bell gives me nausea.
Holy god, when did this come about? When did my brain, stomach and the rest of my internal organs form a union and unilaterally decide that they just couldn't handle one more cheesy bean and rice burrito?
In college, I practically used to live off of the stuff. My fondest memories involve my friends and I making drunken late night runs at 3 AM, grabbing a heaping bag of burritos and cheesy gordita crunches, going back to whomever's place and watching DVDs/Stephen Colbert reruns until we passed out. And one time, my friend Andy and I bought a 10-pack of bean burritos during the intermission of a huge poker tournament we were having and promptly downed the whole thing. Plus, let's not forget all those times I would hit up TB, then go to my college girlfriend's place to watch two hours worth of What Not to Wear (yes, I'm a fan). Magical.
And today? I bought two items off the menu today for lunch, and about halfway through the second, my stomach said "Sorry sir, we're at capacity," like a bouncer at a fancy Adams Morgan nightclub.
"What do you mean you're at capacity?" the burrito would say. "There's tons of room in there! And you just that entire Nutri-Grain bar in like it's no big deal!"
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step back. Thanks."
Gotta keep the ratio in check, I guess. Racist pricks.
Holy god, when did this come about? When did my brain, stomach and the rest of my internal organs form a union and unilaterally decide that they just couldn't handle one more cheesy bean and rice burrito?
In college, I practically used to live off of the stuff. My fondest memories involve my friends and I making drunken late night runs at 3 AM, grabbing a heaping bag of burritos and cheesy gordita crunches, going back to whomever's place and watching DVDs/Stephen Colbert reruns until we passed out. And one time, my friend Andy and I bought a 10-pack of bean burritos during the intermission of a huge poker tournament we were having and promptly downed the whole thing. Plus, let's not forget all those times I would hit up TB, then go to my college girlfriend's place to watch two hours worth of What Not to Wear (yes, I'm a fan). Magical.
And today? I bought two items off the menu today for lunch, and about halfway through the second, my stomach said "Sorry sir, we're at capacity," like a bouncer at a fancy Adams Morgan nightclub.
"What do you mean you're at capacity?" the burrito would say. "There's tons of room in there! And you just that entire Nutri-Grain bar in like it's no big deal!"
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step back. Thanks."
Gotta keep the ratio in check, I guess. Racist pricks.
Labels: getting old
posted by Jeff at 12:25 PM
2 Comments:
Jeff! Jeff! Holy nuts, I checked your blog on a whim. I don't even know why. Something told me to click on the link I still have from my own blog (which even I haven't updated in over a month) although I've many times thought to myself that I should delete it, assuming that you'd given up on the internet entirely. Well sir, I'm thrilled to see that you're alive.
I can't believe you used to eat that much T-Bell.
Blogging is so 2006.
-p.
Post a Comment
<< Home